Do you and your partner combine finances? Better question — do you want to, but not know where to start? This past summer, I wrote a blog post about how marriage changed my finances. In that post, I talked about how my husband and I work together financially by splitting everything 50/50 and keeping most of our money separate.

However, in just 4 short months — those plans have changed.

You see, if you haven’t been reading for awhile, you might have missed that we moved cities, both changed jobs, and both increased our incomes. So — our financial situation has dramatically changed.

We went from making the exact same income to my husband making significantly more than me. Which (I’ll be honest), makes me extremely jealous.

As stubborn as I am in wanting to pay for everything and insisting we split things 50/50, it really doesn’t make sense for us anymore. By changing from even split to something more 60/40 — we’ll both be able to save a good amount for retirement and short-term savings goals.

So, how do you go about actually making this change?

Step one — talk about it

After crunching some of the numbers on my own, and determining what a fair split could be, I brought the conversation up with my husband. It’s never easy, even if you do discuss money on a regular basis, so don’t worry if things don’t come out exactly as you’ve planned. They probably don’t know what to say either. The important thing is that you’re willing to have the conversation in the first place. The more you do it, the easier it will become.

Step two — decide where the splits will be

Logically, we looked at the three top spending categories in our budget. Those end up being our rent, vehicle payment, and savings. Right now, we are trying to aggressively save and invest about 40 to 50 percent of our income each month.

One of the suggestions I brought up was having one person pay the larger living expenses and the other person focus on the savings. If we both spent the same amount on each it would be easy for both of us to feel equally apart of achieving our common goals. However, one person would take on more of the financial responsibilities that can’t change based on our monthly spending.

Step three — update your budget and implement the changes

Once you’ve agreed upon an expense split that makes sense for you and your significant other, it’s time to input the numbers into your budget. I always suggest giving things a trial period of about two to three months to see if these changes are working and everyone is still happy. Combined finances only work if you’re completely honest.

How do you talk about money in a relationship?

My course, ‘Oh F*ck, Are We Ready to Talk About Money,’ is perfect for couples to learn how to navigate a typically uncomfortable conversation. You and your partner have experienced enough uncomfortable firsts. So, let’s not put ourselves through that again with our money.

What does the ‘Oh F*ck, Are We Ready to Talk About Money’ course get you?

✔ 15 exercises to help you better understand each others’ financial situation

✔ A 24-page printable workbook to use as you go through the course

✔ 7 video lessons to guide you through the tougher conversations

✔ 3 goal-setting tactics to help you plan your financial future together

✔ Quiz to help you identify the best way to manage your money

✔ Excel spreadsheet to manage your monthly budget separately or together