Impostor Syndrome Was Stopping Me From Making More Money
Being afraid of your passions might be the one thing holding you back from making more
Impostor syndrome. What is it? Other than your worst nightmare IRL. Well, it's kind of like that awful feeling after you order too much food but feel bad not finishing it all, so you do finish it all. Then you regret all of your decisions and say "why did I eat all of that food?". Yup, that sounds right.
In more realistic terms AKA taken from the most trustworthy place on the internet, Wikipedia, it's "a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud"."
For those of you reading along, nodding your head and mouthing "yaasssss girl" at your computer -- this blog post is definitely for you.
What makes us feel this way?
Honestly -- feeling like you're undeserving of opportunities, always having to "work harder than others" to earn your place, and assuming you aren't good enough to start something in the first place is where it always begins.
I don't think it's a bad thing to say we don't deserve things. It's true that you should earn all that you want.
But the thing is -- you're probably already earning those things each and every day. After all, if you love something enough to invest time into it, then you're already on the right path.
It's scary to take risks. It's hard to start something new. It's easy to avoid those hopes and dreams.
But it becomes most difficult when you finally take the plunge and never admit to yourself or others that you're capable.
Modesty is totally cute, right ladies? We love being modest about our accomplishments. In fact, I think most of us were brought up thinking that we should be modest about our accomplishments.
But that's when the impostor syndrome starts to truly sneak in.
It took me travelling to another country to realize I'm talented.
Just last week, I was in Dallas at the most amazing conference ever, otherwise known as FinCon. When I bought my ticket back in February, my main reason for going was to expand my client base, gain a larger network, and obviously meet all of my favourite bloggers and then to soak up all of their knowledge.
When I got there I still had the same intentions. However, it took me the first full day to realize that I'm pretty much exhausted as far as space for new clients go. Given that I work full time, freelance part time, and work a part time job some weekends, my ability to add more work to my plate is a lot like that order we made at the start of this post.
Too. Friggen. Much.
I am already doing all of the things I've wanted to do since I started Mixed Up Money.
While having some pretty amazing discussions with my favourite female influencers at the conference (I'm looking at you Bravely Go, Dumpster Dog, Half Banked, Ask Allea, and Goodnight Debt), I realized that I'm doing a lot better than I thought.
I'm finally pursuing my passion of writing, I'm earning a nice amount of money aside from my full-time income, and I'm connecting with so many truly amazing readers. When I say truly amazing readers, I really do mean truly amazing. The fact that anyone lets me use the word "I" this much in one post is pretty dope. So thanks. A lot.
Letting go of the "Impostor Syndrome" means allowing myself to take more risks.
Today is my last day at my full time job. Now before you start freaking out thinking that I'm taking the plunge into full-time blogging or entrepreneurship -- don't. I have accepted a new job offer, and start this coming Monday.
It's a huge change from my last position. Instead of being in an office, I'll be working remotely. Instead of doing the same tasks over and over again (some I loved, some I hated), I'll merely be writing. My new job allows me to seriously grow my passion by developing new content each and every day.
Not only that, but I'm going to be working for someone whose work I have read for years, and truly admire. It's a dream job to say the least.
The crazy part? I got this dream job because of Mixed Up Money.
I got the job from doing the one thing that I thought I wasn't doing well enough.
I got the job because I told myself I should go for it. I can handle it. I will own it.
This year has brought a ton of realizations about money that I never used to have.
Being afraid of money and being afraid of your passions might be the one thing that's holding you back from making more income.
Knowing that you're capable of a task, job, or role that someone else cannot fill allows you to ask for more money. Shocking, I know! If you have something that someone else needs -- you suddenly become very valuable.
In fact, there is always something out there that you can offer the world that someone else cannot. Everyone has something special. It's just a matter of finding that special thing inside of you.
Rather than ending this post by telling you who I am and what's to come for Mixed Up Money now that I've had this crazy-stupid realization, I'm going to focus on showing you. So, I hope you'll stay tuned for some upcoming hidden treasures that you won't be able to find anywhere else.
Oh, and here is a video of my super amazing time spent at FinCon in Dallas. Enjoy!
Have you ever felt like an impostor or a fraud? Let me know in the comments!