What I Learned in My 1st Year of Marriage
we have knocked down every challenge and obstacle put in our way
On July 22nd, I will officially have been married for one year. It’s extremely wild to me that it’s already been 12 months since we said our vows, signed our certificate, and sealed it with a kiss. I’m extremely fortunate to have the husband that I do, and the support that he shares.
To be honest, marriage hasn't changed much of our relationship, other than the fact that we know more about one anothers' finances (win), are more prepared to make decisions that affect our future (permanence), and we've become the dream team I've always wanted in life (fist pump).
Many of you out there I’m sure would think it’s “cute” that I’m calling one year of marriage anything other than a pat on the back (if that) – but the reality of the matter is that these days, society and marriage aren't quite the same best buds as they used to be.
It's hard to be married these days. Not that it wasn't any harder before our time. It's just that our generation operates a little bit differently. We function in a more fast paced, need-to-know, grass is greener society. So, I shouldn't say it's harder. It's just different.
However, this blog post isn't about me comparing decades of marriage and relationships, it's more a reflection of this past year as a wifey, and all that I've learned from my hubby. 10/10 on the cringe level scale wins me a gold medal, right? Thought so.
Nevertheless, here is a bare bones list of the top 20 things I have learned in my first year of marriage.
Your partner will always have your back. No questions asked (unless it's incriminating, that is).
Rant sessions are an essential part of your after work ritual. Give each other equal time.
Everyone has chores. Just because yours are washing the dishes, doesn't mean theirs aren't as or more important.
You'll have to make so many choices that indecision will become who you are as a couple. It's cute, though.
Your morning routine will become their morning routine, and vice versa.
Financial decisions can be the toughest part of your relationship. Even for the experts. Be open and honest about where you stand.
The lazy nights watching your guilty pleasure TV shows or drinking your favorite wines are everything.
It's important to still make time for other friendships and social circles, both separately and together.
Always make time for the things you used to do at the start of your relationship. They're what brought you together in the first place.
Turns out that "pick your battles" is damn good advice.
Thank G we both like sports highlights, video games, and junk food.
Thank G we both also like Bioré nose strips, corny movies, and kale salads.
Listen to your parents advice. They know what's up (and what's romantic -- without Googling it).
Put your phone away. Not all the time, because I don't want you to have a panic attack. But at least 30% of the time.
Be patient: with your schedule, your tough conversations, and your dinner. You'll eventually get around to it.
Speaking of food, everything tastes good. Even if it doesn't.
Waking up to your best friend by your side each morning is the most precious thing in life. Remind one another of that.
When one of you is going through a tough time, you need to drop everything. Even if that means the thing you drop will break.
Milestones will come in waves. Each one is special and memorable. Find a way to hold those moments close to your heart.
Putting "I love you more" in your vows means you always win. Sorry babe.
Everything that has happened in the past 365 days has started to shape the next 365 days and beyond that we will share together. As a couple, we have knocked down every challenge and obstacle put in our way, and have worked to build a stronger bond than the one we shared before the government knew about our secret alliance as man and wife.
Sure, there will always be skeptics who think you won't survive the hardships of marriage and love. But what those skeptics don't realize is that those hardships are actually life lessons, and those life lessons are what make my husband and I equipped to handle a long, sturdy, cobblestone street in Lagos, where the sangria is rich, and the atmosphere is us holding hands and gazing into each others eyes, like every day is our first date. Wait, should I write romance novels?
As much as I love to share my personal experiences about debt, savings, and where I spend my money in general, I also love to share with you the bigger pieces of my life that shape who I am. My husband is an enormous part of that, and my number one fan (unless someone else out there wants to battle it out with him in the comments).
Happy 1 Year Anniversary to my one and only. I love you, always and forever.
What's your best piece of advice for us newly married folk? Let me know in the comments!