You’re scrolling Instagram and another ad pops up for that thing you really really want to buy yourself. You’re tempted, so you click through to see how much it is. It’s expensive, sure. But you can afford it. You keep clicking through until you’ve reached the checkout, when suddenly… you realize that you probably shouldn’t buy it because Christmas is just around the corner. Santa and his reindeer are preparing for another holiday season, and I’ve started to organize my family gift exchange that we do each year. An in-house Santa, I call myself. Typically, we keep things simple by doing one $100 gift via a Secret Santa draw, and then one smaller $25 gift that we can use in a fun “White Elephant” exchange. Every year, we are supposed to add things to our wish list so that the person who drew our name isn’t completely lost — or stressed out — when they go shopping for your gift.

“I don’t need anything”

We all say it at one time or another. “I don’t need anything this year” or “I already have everything that I want.” I repeatedly tell myself (and everyone else) that I don’t need anything. Mostly, I do this because I prefer to buy gifts for others, and can afford to get myself these things that I might want. So, I’ll just end up buying it for myself. Right?

Wrong.

Something I’ve always done is tell myself I’ll buy it, but I never do. I put it into my basket online, stare at it for awhile, finally convince myself to checkout, and then when the time comes to put in my credit card information, I bail. There are so many things I’ve wanted to buy myself for so long, but I never have. Why? Well, for one: I have trained myself to only buy things that are absolutely necessary. Secondly: now that I have a baby, I find it completely irresponsible to spend money on stuff for myself when I could be saving it for her future, or buying her clothes that she’ll actually need in a few months time. After all, she’s growing in size and all I’m doing is growing out of love with things I already own.

There is nothing wrong with my mindset. After all, I’m pretty sure this is the mindset I’ve worked hard to achieve. I’ve had to work hard to avoid spending money recklessly. I’ve had to come to terms with spending money on myself occasionally to maintain a clean bill of mental health. So, when it comes to big purchases, I’m still trying to figure things out. Big purchases to me? Anything over $100.

This year, I’m finally going to buy myself what I want. I’ve saved money, I’ve earned this right. I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m not as frugal as I thought I wanted to be. I miss new clothing. I miss having expensive products in my makeup bag. And the best part of all? I can buy these things without slipping into old habits. I’ve finally found my happy medium.

“But I want these things”

Before the end of this year, I’m going to treat myself. Like, mad treat myself  — to these five things that I’ve been debating buying for a few months now. Why? Because I can. Because I want to. Because I am not worried about my financial situation — and it feels nice not to worry.

And hey, maybe something that I want is a good Christmas gift idea for that special someone in your life. A special someone named… you! Because yeah, I’m totally encouraging you to buy yourself a Christmas present this year. Welcome to the Internet — where nothing makes sense.

PS – none of these links are affiliate links. I’m just really serious about my wish list this year.

1. Smash + Tess Romper – $119 CAD

2. knix – The Every Bodysuit – $85 CAD

3. VERB Volume Kit – $60 CAD

4. Nike Free RN 2018 Women’s Running Shoe – $140 CAD

5. ZARA Herringbone Coat – $199 CAD

If I’ve learned anything about money, it’s that what you choose to do with your own money is none of my business. Do I hope that you’ll spend responsibly, save excessively and invest aggressively? No dur. But I also hope that you enjoy yourself, understand that you can’t save everything, and realize that there will be times when you have lots of money and times when you have little money.

If you could buy yourself anything you wanted this Christmas, what would you choose to get for yourself? Because, look at you! You earned it. Let me know in the comments!