Talking about money isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Okay, let me be blunter here. It’s hardly anyone’s cup of tea. In fact, the only cup of tea that it reminds me of is the XL peppermint tea I ordered from Tim Horton’s a few years ago, spilled all over myself because the lid wasn’t on, burnt my hand and then threw it on the ground because my anger took over. So, yeah. Talking about money is like that for some people. 

What about the other people, though? Yeah, I’m finally talking about us weirdos who spend every Tuesday morning reading a blog post about personal finance. Those of us who spend the week obsessively logging into our online bank accounts, neatly folding receipts and watching news reports about the stock market. Our experience with that same cup of tea is a bit different. It’s not the same cup of tea at all. It’s more like the 16 oz London Fog I got last week from a cute coffee shop. Oh, and it’s the perfect temperature, btw.

Holy crap, am I still making money references in regards to past teas I’ve drunk? Am I okay?

Is having people who share similar money mindsets to yours important to you?

I’m sure as you read that header, you immediately answered with a “duh, lady.” Because let’s be honest here. Who wants to surround themselves with people who don’t enjoy staying in to save a buck, planning out their retirement contributions and making jokes about spending money?

“Up until I bought this bag of chips, I thought air was free.” 

Haha, man. Those personal finance lovers sure are wild.

Although we all want to find those people — sometimes it’s complicated. Let’s say that’s why I found my place in this online community. It’s to help grow, educate and interact with people who share the same focuses as I do at this point in my life. Not everyone can or will put themselves on the same financial path as you. Most of the people in your life never will.

Sometimes it’s hard to talk about your successes with money because others won’t see it as anything other than grandstanding. While, yes, sometimes I do want to shout from the rooftops how proud I am of my accomplishments, most of the time, I’m sharing those successes so that others believe they can achieve too. It often makes me wonder if every single person has to hit their low point — as I did — before realizing that it’s time to take control of their money.

It makes me wonder if, due to privilege, some people aren’t as fortunate as I am to be able to have these opportunities to care about their financial futures because they’re too busy focusing on what bills they’ll be able to pay for this month. The most frustrating part of all, though, is when you know that some people do have the privilege to afford these opportunities but choose not to.

Does spending time with those who don’t put as much focus on their finances affect your chances for success?

It’s the classic case of your five closest friends. Who are those people? Imagine them right now. What do they do for a living? What are their goals? Are they happy? Are they what you consider successful?

When you imagine these friends and consider the answers to each of those questions, do you see some striking similarities in your personal life? We tend to become creatures of habit, after all. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m so over those rah-rah articles that say what rich people do every morning and that by doing those few things, you’ll become a millionaire in no time. However, I have noticed some interesting things about my newest friendships.

When I started to spend more time communicating with passionate people about the same things and goals I was, I invested more of my time and energy into those areas of my life. When I spent more time with writers, entrepreneurs, and marketing creatives, I became more confident and inspired to approach my dreams with open arms. It made me think that because I spend so much of my time communicating online with like-minded money lovers, they must be the reason I turned my financial life from a messy bedroom into an organized office space.

So, do I think spending time with people who don’t put as much focus on their finances affects your chances for success? Probably. You’re more likely to participate in the same activities, attend the same events and spend the same amount of money on material items because you spend more time with them. If your closest friends feel that large home in the suburbs is a form of financial success, that might become a similar ideology for you. I’m no Bill Nye, but my imaginary chemistry lab has put together some pretty severe evidence based on one individual experience and nothing more. Please note the sarcasm or leave rn; thank you.

How do you know if people have the same goals as you or whether they care about money the same way you do?

When it comes to friendships, I’ve seen that things drastically start to change when you approach milestones at different rates from others. You grow together in some areas of life, but you completely separate yourself from one another’s current existence in other ways. God, I know. Doesn’t it sound so glamorous?

Recently, I’ve discovered the best way to find supportive friendships and relationships is by realizing how much mental toughness it takes to stay on track with your goals. The ones who support those tough times are great. The others are about as annoying as a mosquito that somehow got into your house in the summer and won’t stop buzzing around your head while you try to sleep.

However, the question that can permanently settle whether or not they’re on the same path as you is this:

Have you ever questioned whether a friend was actually happy for you?

The ones who celebrate your financial success and admire your determination are important. The ones who could care less or would rather discuss something else are also important. Their importance is to help realize that some relationships can do more harm than good.

They say money isn’t everything — but it just might be to you

Whatever your everything is, I hope that you take a running start, jump in headfirst, and any other cheesy cliches you can think of. I want you to succeed and other people like you to succeed. It’s just a matter of finding out who those people are.

Have you ever had to end a relationship because you were on two different pages about financial success? Let me know in the comments!