Last year, I turned 30 in the middle of a global pandemic. And many people consistently asked whether or not I was scared to be getting older. In reality, the feeling was the opposite. Even though we were living through a time where most things felt out of our control and the future seemed so uncertain, I felt at peace with almost everything else in my life, including my age.

I felt more aware of what I wanted and am more sure of myself and who I am. In the past few years, I’ve realized how much the “traditional way” to do things affects how we live our lives and decide our goals. 

As you know, millennials were raised to believe that homeownership, marriage, and starting a family were of the utmost importance. Our society told us that completing these milestones by certain ages was the only way. Well, you know what I think? Screw tradition.

The best thing we can remind ourselves of is that we can do things on our terms when and if we’re ready. 

So, if you’re feeling behind on this imaginative timeline that society has gifted us with, I made a list of tangible things we should actually seek to accomplish in our lifetime – and maybe you’ll find you’re further ahead than you thought. 

Find a city you love and make it your home

You do not have to purchase a house to make the city you live in (or stay in) your home. Your home is wherever you feel happy and comfortable. A home is still a home whether you rent or own. If that means you make Disneyland your home for the five days you stay there, so be it. 

The family of four who owns a bungalow in the suburbs does not get to call your city home any more than you do if you rent your one-bedroom condo.

Fall in love, with whatever and whoever you want

Fall in love with people, passions, and life. Focusing on finding hobbies that you love should be just as important (if not more so) than finding a person to call your life partner. You do not have to get married just because you’re in love. It would be best if you got married because that’s what you (and you alone) want, and you know it will make you happy. 

You do not need to take a job just because they offer you a salary, although we need to earn a living (thanks, capitalism). It’s okay to continue to look for a job you’re passionate about — even if it’s not the ideal career path your parents anticipated. Fall in love without feeling pressured to do so, and at your own pace.

Celebrate what you define as family

Not having children does not mean you will never have a family. Waiting until you’re financially stable to have a kid is realistic, not crazy. Two people are a family. Friendship is family. Not everyone has a formal relationship with their blood relatives, and that’s okay.

Surround yourself with people who love you, and you love in return. Be the best aunt, uncle, mom or dad in the world, and focus on supporting those who need help. You decide what family means to you — no one else.

Help your health first

Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing in the gym, in the kitchen, and on the field. Work out because you enjoy it, eat because food is fabulous, and play because you love the sport. Your health comes from the inside, too.

I think everyone should have the opportunity to create their own traditions. No generation is capable of doing what the last did or didn’t do. We are all raised differently, experience different cultures, and explore new technology. Times change and so should expectations.

What would you add to my list of “new traditions”? Let me know in the comments!